“Jibo the Family Robot” is the Creepiest Product of the Year (video)

VC

Praised by CNN and the Wallstreet Journal, Jibo is the world’s first “family robot”. A cheesy, overly sentimental video selling this machine explains exactly how it will spy on your entire family … And it is extremely creepy.


In the cautionary tale that was 1984, telescreens were used by the ruling Party to keep its subjects under constant surveillance, thus eliminating the chance of secret conspiracies against it. Almost 70 years after the release of the novel, telescreens are a reality … and they are going much further than Orwell’s telescreens.
Enter Jibo. Before I go further, I will let you witness its mindbogglingly absurd video selling this product. The first time I watched it, I actually asked myself if it was some kind of spoof or parody. But no. I got confirmation that it was 100% real and that the product is about to ship worldwide. Then a dark, creeping feeling overwhelmed me as I realized the immense potential of this machine. Here’s the ad.

If you are anything like me, watching this video makes me angry : The sentimental, “life is so wonderful” music; The way the fake family talks to the robot as if it was an adopted son; The way it is presented as something “we’ve all dreamed about”. All the while, Jibo is being the family snitch, gathering data about everybody and sending it God knows where.

I recognizes all the faces in its field of vision, the exact distance from it and even recognizes each person's facial expression.
It recognizes everybody in its field of vision, it calculates the exact distance from it and even analyzes each person’s facial expression.

It knows who's coming to pick you up, at what time and where you are going.
It knows who’ is coming to pick who up, at what time and where they are going.

It spends creepy one-on-one time with your daughter, telling her creepy stories while recording everything she is saying.
It spends creepy one-on-one time with children, telling then  stories while recording everything they are saying.

But Jibo did not like losing visual contact with the girl. As soon as it found the girl's face, it creepily says "There you arrrre".
But Jibo did not like losing visual contact with the girl. As soon as it found the girl’s face, it creepily says “There you arrrre”.

Then there’s this bachelor dude who comes in and says “Heeyyy buddy” … to a robot. Are you serious? How much fluoride-laced toothpaste do you need to swallow before you start saying “Heeyyy buddy” to a machine? The dude then tells the machine “you know me so well” – he probably doesn’t know the half of it.

The ad ends with more creepy one-on-one time  (in the dark).  with the daughter who is too young to understand the concept of high tech surveillance and who might start to believe that a machine loves her.
The ad ends with more creepy one-on-one time (in the dark). with the daughter who is too young to understand the concept of high tech surveillance. All she knows is that Jibo loves her because a heart was displayed on the screen. *shudders*

Since 2012, there’s been a steady stream of revelations confirming that the NSA and other agencies actively collect information from every single connected device. How is Jibo not a treasure trove of next-level information ready to collected and exploited?
They want you to have an All-Seeing Eye in your home … and they want you to pay money for it.

Popular Posts